My holiday coming to an end soon, and I have make so many secrets this year.
I hope for so many things, and I keep hoping.. There are many times I prayed, time just stop like that.

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Hang on, my loved ones, I can do better, I am learning, give me time

It has ended now, finally.
The year 2011 was not a good one. But I learned, the stressful working life, more commitments to handle, mom getting more ill, car got crashed, like seriously crashed, and many other things!
But thank God towards the end, at least, something great happened.

I don't know why I say this, despite the feeling of relieve that 2011 is a past, I somehow can foresee that I will face more challenges in this year, I pray that I can overcome this year as I did the last year, smile, at least, this is the best that I can do, I want to spread happiness, not sadness, so SMILE!!

I hereby wish everyone a happy New Year, I love you, Jesus loves you!!

If you don't make any effort, I will leave, sorry, because as much as I pour out my all to you, though I don't expect the same in return, at least, just be there, I am sorry, I think I deserve a better one.

Christmas is here again! Look at how time flies, and I am still the same..... just getting older..  Well, it's Christmas, I think I deserve to put down my wishlist here, it's just wish ok, I don't mean those who are reading this, must get it for me, it's wish, so I can wish whatever I want, regardless whether it is affordable right, and all here below are material things.

Burberry Brit perfume for women

Although I am not really a fragrance person, I smell this the other day during promotion, I just love it so much, I almost got it since it was a promotion, but somehow, I managed to control myself ^^

BABY G code:BGA-130

I saw this watch also, one of the lepaking days in sungai wang, and I fell in love with this cute piece too! I love that crisp white, sporty and cute, yet elegant, I think it's suitable for most of my outfit!

The Body Shop, Cranberry Joy range

It smells great, I just got that shimmering lipbalm for myself, although I wish for the whole set but I think just the body butter will do as fine ;P

Clinique dramatically different moisturizing gel, oily to combination oily

 I know this is too much, but my moisturizer is kinda running out, and it will be nice if someone can top up for me, lol...
 

Famous amos cookies!!

 The aroma and the smell of these cookies never fail to captivate me each time I visited a mall that have one of these! 

Chocolates

Can I have a never ending supply to these all yeat long?? I promise I will never get tired of these sweetness..

Merry Christmas! Jesus loves us all!!

I feel at ease, at least, I am able to experience peace, but....
still I want to get out from here..

I like you

I know...

Last night, when I was walking alone to the car park, I noticed the moon, there was nearly not many cars were left there, 2 or 3 including mine I guess, so the car park was very dark actually, making the light from the moon more prominent.
I couldn't help but notice a particular star below it, a very bight shining one, I thought of my dad, I remember him saying that it was a man made star because it is exceptionally bright. I was only 7 then because I recalled that it was my first day of standard one in primary school. Almost 20 years passed, I wonder if what my dad said is true or not, and I didn't even bother to find out.
I thought of God, and Jesus. I looked at the moon again, studied it, it was so bright, and the light came from the Sun, and the Sun's light shine according to His command. The moon seems to be so far away, is heaven that far?
All of sudden, I realized, everything and everyone are so busy doing the things, but forgot about the universe that is so vast. At that very moment, that split second, everything doesn't matter anymore.
Ah, it looks like I've still long way to go... which in reality, to Him, is just awhile more.

Very gifted, truly gifted, pursue what God wants you to pursue, Pursue, Pursue what God wants you to pursue.

What He wants me to pursue, I feel so messed up, and yet, you said gifted.
I always feel like I am walking the wrong path, but sometimes, I feel like, I just need to carry on.
Someone really needs to help me to overcome this, but then I realized, none can, except God.
I will continue to be joyful despite all this, I need strength.
And I feel like, I am not doing what I like, Lord, is this really for me? If it is Your desire, merge it with mine, because right now, it doesn't seem to go parallel with mine..
Should I go back, or continue walking?

It's hard, can I complain? It's really hard,
I feel like, I can't take this anymore, it's too much, but deep down inside, I know I am blessed, I know I won't be tested beyond my capabilities, but Lord, do You really think that highly on me, oh, I know I shouldn't question You, but it's hard....

And You promised me, You will be there, and this promise is what keep me going.

I know it's been a real long time...
I got my car back two weeks ago...
I figure this year is not really a joyful year for me, perhaps, but as I always mention to myself, I AM GLAD THAT I CAN STILL HOPE.

Despite of all the sadness and disappointments, I am glad that I am not alone, at the very least, God is with me.
These days, well, I always think that I am too late, maybe my hormonal changes is different from the usual people, I feel rebellious, can you imagine that, I feel super rebellious at the age of 24 instead of 14, now I truly understand how it feels like. I wanna get out, and yet, I feel trapped.... So trap..

But I know, if I really want something, I will get it, God will give me, He had given me so far everything that I've asked for, everything except this one thing that maybe He thinks I am not ready to get it, I am sure you guys know what is that if you have known me well... ^^

So I have a new dream, new desire, I am going to pursue it now.

Today is like the worst day of my life, well, probably is just nothing and small matter to others but I was scare, and worse, I was all alone..
I met an accident today, I am alright, but the motorist was injured, he was bleeding a lot, after sending him to the hospital for observation, he is okay finally, but my car was damaged, at the passenger side, both doors can't be open and the glass all broke.

I was not injured but traumatized psychological none the less, a lot of things I have to settle, of how am I going to segambut to settle the insurance tomorrow, of how to go to work later without my car, how to on call, so many things, of how to settle this bill and that bill after all these. I feel like my head gonna burst!!

But I thank God even in times of trouble, because the motorcyclist was okay in the end, the doctor said I don't need to pay any deposit for him(he is a foreigner, so he actually have to pay rm800 for deposit), and most of all He was with me.