Heard that some BBGS heritage will be going on in Pavillion on the 4th August from Mel.. Kinda reminds me of the Centenary Song where I sang during my secondary school times. I was in choir club back then, therefore, we need to perform the song every year.

Centenary song (1993)

If through these walls,
we can hear the stories long ago,
Those BBGS dreams their hopes and more,
If through these walls, we can see the days before,
We'll see the joy, the rise and growth,
Every smile that greets hello,

Names may change and faces pass,
But the tune's the same we'll make it last,
We'll learn these words before they come to pass,
BBGS in my heart, ten decades we've grown to love,
Add a hundred more, my heart will still belong,
Within these cherished walls.

Here on these walls, I found meanings of love,
To conquer fears to wipe the sorrow tears,
Here I learnt of friends, learnt to give a helping hand,
And when I'm lost, they'll guide my way with God's will till the end...

Names may change and faces pass,
But the tune's the same we'll make it last,
We'll learn these words before they come to pass,
Within these walls we've built our lives,
For a hundred years it stayed with us,
Let us keep it standing strong...

Lyrics and music by Raja Ismahan and Nik Serena














I am in the mood to blog again, hehe..

I always wonder why does God being so faithful to after all that I have done, and all of sudden, I feel like, it's always been answered all this while, just that, I don't want to admit it myself, or rather not satisfied by the answer. But this Word has been in my mind for these few days and I want to share it out.

2 Timothy 2:11-13 (New Living Translation)

11 This is a trustworthy saying:
If we die with him, we will also live with him.

12 If we endure hardship, we will reign with him.
If we deny him, he will deny us.

13 If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful,
for he cannot deny who he is.

Well, I have made my decision. And, I am going to church camp!! Unfortunately, only 3 people will be going, and I am the only youth who will be going.

But at least I hope I can bring back something from there. And I get to meet Lawrence and Wendy if possible so actually I am kind of excited.

This whole week, I was doing my posting in Klinik Kesihatan Ibu dan Kanak-kanak. It feels kinda amazing to palpate the mummies' tummy and locate the head of the feotus. But I don't really fancy public health yet at the same time I really admirer those who choose that line.

2 more days is my birthday. I almost forgot all about it due to the busy weekdays till today I saw the church bulletin and realize only 2 more days. Well, I don't really expect anything this year, maybe because I am looking forward to a lot of things nowadays.

Anyway, I think that is all for now. Next time I promise I'll upload some pictures ok, I scare my camera will 'berkarat'






what I want?
what You want?
Is this what I want?
Or this is what You want?

I am so confuse, Lord, uncover the veil, I am blinded by a lots of thing.

Joy is within me, and is in me.
He is in me, and I will let the Spirit in me pray, for I do not understand myself, but rather, the Spirit within me does,
So I will open up my heart and receive the Joy that had promised to me.







Mom,

1 day, I will take your hand and run away with you, run away from everything that is now. Run away from him, from everything, and I will ask God to restore your youth.
I wish you could at least become more selfish. I wish you could tear off your clothes of regret, burdens, tears, disappointment and fear. Why would you wanna keep it when each and everyday, I beg Him to take it away from you?
God, teach me what I should do.






Everything is done.
The funeral is over. Everything seems to back to normal and I am glad.

I think I need to do a little review about my life. Something has to be done which I myself not sure what is it. My life as I reflected on, seems so dull and mundane. True, a lot of things are happening to me like and it look so colorful, I am happy, or was happy, but as soon as I lie down on my bed to end the day, I will feel a deep sense of melancholy, it is just so gloomy. There seems to certain hole or feeling of emptiness in me. And I know very well that only God can fill me.
Now I realize, I didn't give in 100% to God. I think I didn't. No, I did not.

Talk is so easy. Just give your all to Him. Why I can't do that?
And why I sing that with my own lips?

I must do something. I can't be a hypocrite Christian. I can't be so selfish towards God. I am not faithful after all.






Finally she is gone forever.
Last night, it seemed like a finale of her life. Everyone, everyone that she wanted to see came and saw her. The adults were mourning, the men were sitting at the corner pondering. The children were playing with each other.
And me, I was a little stress. Everyone kept on asking me, "Is your grandma gonna pass away now? Why she keep on sweating, why this and why that..."
I don't know.

I couldn't sleep the whole night. Till I heard a phone call, "Your grandma is gone, can you come now and off all her tubings? Now.."
I rushed there.
She died peacefully I shall say.
I hope the songs that i sang to her, she can feel God. I hope she can feel His touch when I touched her, hear His voice when I prayed to her loudly the day before yesterday.

I can't believe that day you talked to me about your life, mom's life, aunts' life was the last day you really chatted with me. I am satisfied.
I love you, and I hope that you know that.






Today is Easter day. A day where God rose again. A day that remind us that the battle has been won. The song which we perform, truly express what I had question God all this time.
"What held You on the cross??"
"Why did You die for me?"
"I don't deserve it, why do You still love me?"

I prayed today. I asked Him, how long more, and why me?
He told me, He wouldn't take the pain away, but He will sustain me.

I saw my ill grandma right after church. I am so not bold. I wanted to tell her, that she won't be in pain anymore, that the battle had been won. That Jesus had bore every strips, and He had wore the crown of thorns, that He had suffered all this in advance for her. I looked deep into her eyes. How I wish she sees Jesus in me. I finally found some courage in me.
"Popo, today is Jesus' resurrection day. I perform a song in church. It's ok, popo."

In my heart, I did not ask Jesus to heal her, but to take away her pain. I did not ask Him to prolong her life, but I pray that, she really saw Him in me, that she will call upon Him when she is in pain. I also command all evil spirits, the spirit of pain to left her body. And i believe that my prayers is all powerful than all the chantings. That the devil will not take her away, because God has redeemed her. I just love her so much..